VESPR

by Pangaea

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01:36
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08:02
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03:01
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credits

released September 20, 2019

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Pangaea Wisconsin

Progressive metal from Wisconsin.

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Track Name: Survivor's Guilt
This vision that’s haunting me
That's causing this lack of sleep (a man)
Embodied, entrapped by disbelief (a man)
Who had it all but chose not to see
Rain hits the window, as I sit in the quiet
with only the drops on the pane to break the silence
an image of defeat, a man of anguish
efforts exhausted on dreams, now vanished
A home erased, torn from
The moral drive to carry on
Every morning I look in this mirror
thinking how luxurious my life could be
my visions blurring
This lack of sleep, has got me in a haze
accepting invitations, now I lay unconscious for days.
Still empty, in this bed that bears so much weight
this weight of guilt, it holds me in place
Desperately reaching for a hand to pull me out
of this bottomless lake that I made here for myself
As I drift from the surface, I now realize I must accept these decisions
let the cold embrace me, it's now the darkness in which I live in
I'm trying to push this to the back of my mind
just like I had done to you so many times
Track Name: Eighteen Nights
Wake in a cold sweat, trying to catch my breath
fingers pressed against my neck searching for a pulse
bloodshot eyes from the minutes of rest
all the strength to get out of bed 

Eighteen nights 

They ask how he stays so strong in passing
beneath these eyes, you'd see you're wrong

Eighteen nights, after night, after night, no rest

Clinical research to advance 
a potential antidote for this condition
lab rat with nothing to lose
signed at the bottom
in hopes of a breakthrough

Eighteen days go by with the imagery 
on the back of my eyelids engraved 
a film reel left spinning in time, the same visual held in my mind
now the memories confined

Up the dosage to keep my head composed 
Both delusions and passion now minimal
A constant hum while trying to sleep
Another capsule to put the mind to ease

Eighteen hours now stagnant in this room
staring blankly at the ceiling
feels like there's nothing to lose

Take me to my tomb
Waiting for deaths cold hands
Take me to my tomb 

Completely lost my sense of time
no contrast between the day and night
unrecognized even to my eyes

In this dying wake, I’ve exposed all
Discords to this day as null

Eighteen, eighteen days
Share with me, the horizon of relief

Share with me
Open arms waiting for my arrival
Share with me
Embrace the horizon of relief 

Bestill, my weight

Affter the meds left my system
this anxiety starts to creep in
Just when I thought the burden was gone
I'm back at square one
completely lost my sense of time
no contrast between these eighteen nights

Eighteen days go by with the imagery
engraved on the back of my mind
Track Name: A Gateway to Nothing
Vision adjusts to this change in light
while returning from another stay - 
the trees outside they cast a shadow 
And they’re filling this room with a familiar shade of grey

Just like a gateway, at our expense, theres nothing.
i try to get away, but it keeps giving me something

Daily path worn into the dirt
suppressing this misery, is a full days work
heavy-hearted grabbing my crutch
these fragments of solace are never enough

Worn into, to the dirt
These fragments aren't enough
Daily path worn into the dirt
Entrapt in this shadowed room and it reeks now of his chain.

Repetition from dusk to dawn and everything between
this innovative therapy
so simple to ignore the world, in a vast bliss  
slip back into this emptiness

Just like a gateway, at our expense, theres nothing.
I try to get away but I admit there's something 

Day after day, no end in sight
this quest my peace to find 
the darkness consuming the light
no end in sight
no end in sight

Slip back in and let the regimen run its course.
Track Name: Seen in Parallel
Concealed inside a mind so broken
a world that's all but perfect 
Withered, hollowed, and defeated 
dependent, alone, seamless

we slip into the vast nothing
second chance you’re living



Where mistakes are forgotten
A new life for a man so undeserving

For this habit has buried not just the guilt
but all that what was left of him

Emaciated of affection
Re-tracing where he came from
His Famished visual projected
The will to live is dying

Seamless
Falling into the aura of repose


a facade of a reality 
unaffected by the choices so selfish 
I grow cold reflecting in this bare and desolate hell  (lifeless)
the day will come when reality 
is no longer the life that we lead
Numb to our existence
We just close our eyes to this world 
And repress the memories (lifeless)

Left to rot in the dreamscape
 now a resting place for the lost
Left to rot in the dreamscape

Falling into the aura of repose

A facade of a reality 
unaffected by the choices so selfish
I grow cold reflecting in this bare and desolate hell  (lifeless)
the day will come when reality 
is no longer the life that we see/lead
Numb to our existence,
We just close our eyes to this world 
to repress the memories (lifeless)

Falling into the aura of repose. 
Track Name: Black Tower
The pursuit of relief
a distant concept, now obtained
anxiously expecting an outcome
an end in sight to the pain

A breath of the realization
a test subject, a broken soul
staring into the darkness
now understanding our role

Slowly building an obsession
euphoria for a broken man
where the agony began

This is passion at its fucking core 

Memories pour in and the spiral 
of nightmares starts to bloom. 
Another session comes to a conclusion
Back to this empty room

In the darkest nights, I lay awake, restrained
Haunted by your own Grave
Haunted by the image of your grave 

Denounce this existence,
Return to the ecstacy

Am I awake?
Are they out there?
Please help,  my fate resides in you
I feel severed from this world

I have lost all self control
I’m no longer whole. 
I'm stuck inside this head and I'm numb to the world

Condemned to this life of guilt

Condemned to this synthetic reality

A glimmer of peace,
a second chance 
forced to leave
glance at the screen
my face in my hands
the epitome of defeat
Track Name: The VESPR Session
Driveway unplowed, the mailbox flooded
an unexpected day for a blizzard
paint a scene, something much more pleasurable
a family man, returning home after a long day

Reality check as the alarm goes off again
not a morning person since the accident
wandering from room to room
shades pulled to keep out the glare
Another sunrise, one more session

Taken back to a simpler time
even this is getting old
this cabin fever set in months ago
now getting harder and harder to ignore

"State of the Art Technology"
can't seem to lift this regret from me
just one more failed attempt
these sessions aren't doing anything

Clear this guilty conscience

Can't recall the last time I spoke out loud
even these are thoughts just written down

Pacing from room to room
head's getting the best of me
blurred vision / palpitations 
palms dripping unlocking the front door
cold fogs my glasses and the snow hits my face
I can’t see anything

I can't see 
I can't sleep anymore

Like a gateway to another world
for the first time in months I'm feeling alive
a weight is lifted as the chills run up my spine.
you can't face your fears while living inside your mind.
empty my lungs and leave this world behind. 

This vision that's haunting me
That's causing this lack of sleep
Embodied by disbelief 
I had it all, but just chose not to see.

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